Belinda Luscombe, an editor at large for TIME, has tackled a variety of topics, particularly focusing on interviews, profiles, and essays. In 2010, she received the Council on Contemporary Families Media Award for her insightful stories regarding the evolution of marriage. She is also the author of “Marriageology: the Art and Science of Staying Together.”
In contemporary society, terms like “cuck,” “p-whipped,” and “simp” illustrate how some men feel overshadowed by their wives or partners, reflecting a shift in gender dynamics as women’s social and economic power has grown. This has led to a response of heightened machismo among some men. The concept of masculinity is now a contested space. When Doug Emhoff spoke about his wife, Kamala Harris, at the Democratic National Convention, he navigated a delicate balance: being supportive without appearing subservient, and illustrating partnership while maintaining his own identity.
Considering that fewer than half the countries have ever had female leaders, and many of those leaders were unmarried, there are limited role models for being the spouse of a woman potentially taking on such a significant leadership role. Emhoff’s speech served as a key example of how a man can openly support a strong and ambitious woman vying for one of the highest positions in the world without diminishing her reputation or appearing foolish himself.
Emhoff, along with his speechwriters and son Cole, effectively conveyed his message. He demonstrated independence by highlighting his past experiences working various jobs to support himself and admitted to seeking help along the way. Emhoff showcased his self-confidence by sharing a humorous voicemail he left for Harris and acknowledging his ex-wife in a positive light. He embraced Harris’s laughter, contrasting it with critics who have portrayed it negatively.
In his address, Emhoff subtly emphasized traditional masculine qualities. A video introduction from Cole showcased Emhoff’s protective nature, and he shared details about belonging to a fantasy football league and enjoying music from bands like The Clash and Nirvana, which resonate with themes of youthful defiance. He also highlighted his willingness to sacrifice, referencing his decision to leave a law practice after Harris was elected vice president.
Interestingly, many traits Emhoff exhibited during his speech align with values celebrated in conservative circles, such as strength, pride, and the protection of family. He and Tim Walz, Harris’ partner, embody these qualities while operating in supportive roles to their ambitious wives, carefully navigating their presence without overshadowing them.
Emhoff’s enthusiastic endorsement of his wife’s abilities has resonated with many individuals, particularly women, who see him as a model of a supportive husband. Reactions from social media reflect a longing for this representation of manhood, with some even jokingly expressing interest in finding similar partners.
However, Emhoff faced criticism from those who viewed him as weak and pointed out personal controversies from his past. Additionally, some voters still favor a more traditional, dominant version of masculinity, exemplified by figures like Trump, who project strength and assertiveness in both style and relationships.
Despite the mixed reactions, Emhoff’s approach offers a refreshing alternative model of masculinity that values support and respect for one’s partner. As some noted on social media, it is encouraging to see that successful men can uplift their wives and still hold respect in society. Emhoff represents a type of masculinity that, although it may not appeal to everyone, is emerging as a viable and positive alternative in today’s cultural landscape.