The term “hypergamy,” long familiar in the so-called ‘manosphere’ milieu of male influencers and podcasters, has increasingly permeated mainstream discourse, according to linguists like Adam Aleksic. He explains that this term resonates with the incel (involuntary celibate) community, which posits that individuals deemed most attractive—both physically and financially—tend to receive disproportionate romantic attention, leaving others feeling neglected in the dating landscape.
Aleksic highlights that “hypergamy” is part of a lexicon unique to incel culture, which also includes terms like “Chads,” referencing conventionally attractive men, “mogging,” meaning to outshine someone in looks, and “looksmaxxing,” a practice aimed at enhancing one’s physical appearance for better dating prospects. These terms illustrate a broader cultural shift as language from fringe communities gains traction in the popular vernacular.
Amanda Montell, author of “Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism,” suggests that the appropriation of “hypergamy” instead of the term “gold digging” reflects an effort by certain groups to reframe their discussions and norms in a more socially acceptable light. She perceives this as a strategy akin to what some cults employ to disguise their true intentions.
The phenomenon does not solely remain within male-oriented discussions, however. Srushti Upadhyay, a doctoral candidate at the University at Buffalo, observes that some women engage with the concept of hypergamy to redefine their relationships initiated through “sugar-dating” platforms, often asserting that they are dating hypergamously rather than identifying solely as sugar babies.
The rising familiarity with such terms indicates evolving perceptions around dating and relationships, revealing the shifting dynamics of attraction and societal expectations in contemporary culture.
Overall, the discussion around hypergamy reflects a blend of social evolution and linguistic adaptation that continues to shape conversations around attraction and romantic engagement in society today.