Divorce is a challenging journey, often fraught with emotional and financial upheaval. While many fear the financial consequences that typically follow a split—particularly women, who historically face declines in household income and increased poverty risk—experts encourage individuals to recognize that the reality is not so dire. Nanci Smith, a divorce lawyer with practice in Vermont and New York, emphasizes that while the fear of losing everything during a divorce is common, it is often exaggerated and should not deter those in unhappy marriages from seeking a way out.
For those contemplating divorce, preparing financially is crucial. Steven Peskind, a family lawyer based in Illinois, advises starting with a comprehensive review of one’s financial landscape. This includes gathering information on assets, bank accounts, retirement accounts, and even tracking any potential hidden assets. “Avoid taking on new financial commitments during this period,” he says, highlighting that it’s important to keep credit card balances low and maintain liquidity.
Managing emotions during the divorce process is equally important. Smith points out that divorce is largely emotional, urging individuals to seek therapy, engage in support groups, and de-escalate conflict with their spouses, as heightened emotions can lead to increased legal costs. For those facing abusive relationships, seeking immediate support and safety is paramount, with resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline readily available.
Consulting with at least one, ideally two, divorce attorneys before taking any action is also recommended. Smith suggests finding collaboratively trained lawyers, who can help steer the process in a less adversarial way. While consultations often come with a fee, the insights gained can be worth the investment.
When it comes to initiating discussions about divorce, experts advise against surprising your spouse with paperwork. Having an open conversation about your intentions sets a respectful tone and can lead to a more amicable resolution. Various approaches exist for navigating divorce: from do-it-yourself methods to mediation or collaborative divorces that emphasize cooperation, each option varies in cost and complexity.
Realistic expectations about the divorce process are crucial. Bauer notes that courts aim to fairly untangle assets rather than exact punishment for relationship grievances. Therefore, individuals should not expect to see retribution for breaches like infidelity, except in cases of concealed assets.
Ultimately, despite the challenges that divorce may present, experts conclude that while there can be financial adjustments and struggles, they are usually manageable. Peskind reassures individuals that total financial ruin is unlikely, especially when planning and preparing strategically for life post-divorce. By approaching the process thoughtfully, one can emerge not only financially secure but also in a much healthier emotional state.