A new survey on dating and money reveals that Americans’ aspirations for a partner’s earnings far exceed the typical salary, even as people wrestle with how money should fit into love. The median U.S. annual salary sits around $62,000, yet many respondents envision a partner who earns six figures.
Key takeaways
– Women on average want a partner earning about $110,000; men aim for about $90,000. About a quarter of those surveyed want more, with ideal earnings above $150,000. Ten percent hold out for $250,000 or more, and 5% for $500,000 or more.
– Attitudes toward love and money are mixed: 63% would marry for love even if finances were tight, but 46% would choose money over love if forced to pick. Roughly one in three would consider reconciling with an ex if that person became wealthy.
– Job status still matters in dating: 48% say they wouldn’t date someone without a job, even if they found the person attractive.
– Generational shifts are evident. Gen Z places a high emphasis on financial responsibility—78% say it’s important when choosing a partner. Many young people are dating with minimal spending: about half of Gen Z men and women report spending nothing on romance each month.
– When money is involved, Gen Z tends to favor splitting costs more than older generations. About a third of Gen Z agrees that men should pay for dates, compared with higher shares among Gen X and Baby Boomers.
– Across generations, people show different attitudes toward money and dating. While money can strain relationships, a significant share believe that open conversations about money can improve connections.
What experts say
– Experts emphasize that many daters want a partner who contributes to a shared life rather than someone financially dependent. They also note a growing expectation for transparency about money early in dating.
– Financial therapists and relationship coaches advocate for talking about money early and regularly, setting expectations about who pays for dates, and aligning on savings and debt early on to avoid future friction.
– Practical conversation starters suggested by experts include discussing dream incomes, overspending habits, and money goals, as well as exploring family money messages from childhood and how debt, credit, and retirement plans fit into a couple’s future.
Generational notes and dating economics
– Gen Z is more likely to value financial responsibility and to date with lower immediate costs in many cases. They also show a greater willingness to share expenses on dates when money is spent.
– Across ages, many people still feel pressure to appear financially stable, with a notable share believing men should cover dating costs—though views are shifting, particularly among younger daters who favor equality in paying.
How to talk money with a partner
– Start conversations early about money values, income, debt, credit scores, and spending goals.
– Use structured questions to explore preferences and dealbreakers, such as: “What would you do with a sudden $1 million?” or “What’s a big financial one-time splurge you’ve made, and why?”
– Establish regular check-ins about finances, especially when moving in together or planning major purchases or life milestones.
– For tighter finances, consider budget-friendly dating ideas and transparency about expenses to prevent misunderstandings.
Practical takeaways for readers
– If you’re dating, don’t shy away from discussing money, but balance honesty with sensitivity. Clear expectations about who pays, how much to save, and future financial goals can help build trust.
– For couples, align on a shared financial vision—credit health, debt management, and retirement goals—and revisit these plans periodically as circumstances change.
– Remember that financial compatibility is just one component of a relationship. Mutual respect, communication, and shared values often matter as much as income level.
Summary and hopeful note
The survey highlights a broader trend: people want partners who contribute to a balanced, shared life and who are willing to talk openly about money. While money can complicate dating, transparency and early conversations can foster stronger connections and healthier relationships. As generations grow more comfortable discussing finances, there’s potential for more couples to build partnerships based on clear values, realistic expectations, and mutual support.