NYU professor of developmental psychology Niobe Way recently discussed her book, “Rebels with a Cause: Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture,” with ABC News, highlighting how society can better nurture boys.
For decades, Way has researched what she calls “boy culture.” Her book includes case studies that demonstrate the adverse effects on boys when cultures emphasize independence and assertiveness over our natural abilities to care, listen, and rely on one another.
Way contends that societal issues such as violence, suicide, and mass shootings are often blamed on gun control failures or mental illness. She argues that the root cause of many of these problems is the loneliness experienced by boys.
Way elaborated on her findings during her interview with ABC News.
She explained that from her four decades of research, boys and young men repeatedly express that their struggles, which contribute to broader societal issues like depression, anxiety, loneliness, suicide, and mass violence, stem from being raised in a culture she terms “boy culture.” This culture clashes with human nature, which inherently desires relationships and connections.
Way emphasized that boys demonstrate incredible relational intelligence in early adolescence. However, as they grow, societal pressures to “man up” and prioritize hardness over softness disconnect them from their natural relational skills. This expectation, she argues, leads to harmful stereotypes that misrepresent boys as inherently less capable of emotional intimacy.
Challenging concepts such as “boys will be boys,” Way stressed that both boys and girls share a range of human emotions and capacities for relationships. She noted that aggression is present in all humans but highlighted that boys also have a softer side, which society often overlooks.
Way also focuses on boys and young men of color from working-class communities in her studies, as she believes they offer valuable insights into societal dynamics beyond their own experiences. These young men teach us about the broader cultural challenges and potential solutions for nurturing relational skills in all people.
Addressing the term “anti-woke culture,” Way explained its potential harm, especially for boys and young men. She noted that this culture perpetuates a hierarchy that values hardness over softness and thinking over feeling, which alienates those seen as “less human.” Mass shooters, for example, often feel marginalized and express a desire not to be dehumanized.
Way calls for dismantling these hierarchies to foster a more inclusive and empathetic society. Her book, “Rebels with a Cause: Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture,” is now available for those interested in exploring her findings further.